


it comes and goes (in waves).

by flustraaa



Series: the one where they're soulmates [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Angst, Doctor Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Lawyer Magnus Bane, M/M, Soulmate AU, angsty, haters to daters, lolz alec pleads to fifth bc he doesnt wanna expose himself, open ending but only because im making this a series, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 17:51:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19300747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flustraaa/pseuds/flustraaa
Summary: "A feeling I thought was set in stoneIt slips through, my fingersI'm trying hard to let go."(from waves, by dean lewis).





	it comes and goes (in waves).

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote down the angsty feelings that are threatening to drown me in like ten minutes so pls enjoy and feel free to leave a comment because they make me smile (as long as it's not hate).

Of all things Magnus had ever imagined, this was not one of them. Waking up at sixteen with the words, ‘ _you have beautiful eyes, please don’t doubt yourself_ ’ printed on his forearm was romantic to his tiny little closed off heart. It had given him a sense of hope in the darkness that surrounded him.

Hating his best friend's brother in law was another one of those things he had never expected. Clary was bubbly and so wonderfully innocent, Magnus will never understand how she and himself, as well as the self, proclaimed ‘ _Clalec brotp_ ’ came about.

Alec for one was silent ninety percent of the time, and what few times he did speak it was often sarcastic and witty in a way that Magnus couldn’t stand for one reason or another.

The second thing on the short list of things he’d never expected was to hear quiet snuffles from the golden armchair in the corner of Magnus’ room. If he’d had a one night stand there’s no reason they wouldn’t sleep with him, besides, drunk Magnus loves cuddles.

He lets out a quiet groan at the light, careful to avoid waking whoever is asleep in the armchair, before rolling over to catch a glimpse of the mysterious not-quite-bed-person.

This would be the moment where everything falls apart-- into absolute shambles-- because the person is the person he hates most. _Sleeping sweetly_. In _Magnus_ ' bedroom.

“Alec!” He hisses, wincing at the pain in his head from his own words, “ _Alexander_!”

There’s a flash of cerulean eyes before the fumbling of gangly limbs and suddenly, the eldest Lightwood is a mass of confused human being on the floor.

He glances up, seeing Magnus, now peeking over the edge of the bed to look at him, “What the hell are you doing here?”

Alec gapes like a fish and it only serves to make Magnus more exasperated, “Well go on then, spit it out.”

“You were sloshed,” Alec stammers, bashfully, “And God Magnus, I mean so incredibly sloshed it was painful to watch. You refused to get in a taxi because you didn’t like the colour so I drove you home.”

It’s odd to see Alec scramble for words— or look even remotely clumsy and as much as Magnus absolutely loathes to admit it, it’s nice to see the side of him that he’s sure is the reason sweet little Clary is even friends with him.

“And you’re in my room because?” He snaps, savouring every moment longer that the upcoming blush stains Alec’s neck, crawling to heights as far as the tips of his ears.

Alec’s eyes immediately snap down to his shoes, and Magnus rolls his eyes, “Why are you, of all people in my room Alec Lightwood?”

He mumbles something, and Magnus knows that Alec can speak more eloquently than that. He’s heard the iconic drunken reciting of poetry and listened as Alec's studied for his anatomy exams.

“Speak up, I can’t hear you,” Magnus grunts, sinking back against the sheets.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he forces out, opening his mouth to continue, snapping it shut when he sees Magnus’ lips begin to speak again.

“You wanted to make sure I was okay?” Magnus can’t help the mirthless chuckle that leaves his lips, “Oh that’s _rich_ —“

“Stop it!” Alec blurts all at once, wide eyes looking at him like a deer in the headlights, “Did you ever stop for three seconds to think, that perhaps the hate you have for me isn’t requited in the slightest? _Dios Mio_!”

Magnus purses his lips, waving a hand in a gesture that clearly tells Alec to move forward.

“I _never_ hated you. I’m reserved. You and the group of friends we share know better than anyone that I am painfully hidden in the closet and I have been for as long as I can rememeber. I repress. Please, if you do anything, do _not_ think I hate you,” He grumbles, more to himself then to Magnus, returning his butt back to the golden chair.

“Why did you stay?” Magnus inquires, voice softer now, “I was just drunk.”

“That’s the thing,” Alec grumbles, looking absolutely anywhere but Magnus, “You started screaming. We were talking normally, you started screaming, and then you blacked out.”

“Oh my god,” Magnus gasps, hands covering the sleeve over his forearm, “What did you say?”

Alec looks at him hesitantly before retorting, “I plead to fifth. Miranda laws are valid in all fifty states.”

“Alec, what did you say?” Magnus utters, words suffocating him.

Alec looks at him, eyes clouding with concern. He must hear the desperation in Magnus’ tone before he says, “I said something about your eyes, why?”

“Your eyes are beautiful, please don’t doubt yourself?” Magnus asks, meeting Alec’s gaze.

It takes a long moment for Alec to nod, but when he does, there’s so much guilt in them that it only leaves one explanation as to what’s just unfolded.

Alec knows exactly what’s going on.

“How long have you known?” Magnus asks, ushering away the tears of frustration that are building in his eyes.

“A second after Clary introduced us,” Alec croaks after a pregnant pause, “I dropped my copy of Wuthering Heights and you quoted my favourite line from the book and—“

“You told everyone you had to fix your contacts,” Alec nods faintly, before glancing away.

“I should— um, I should go,” Alec blurts, “You’re obviously alright and...”

He trails off, running a hand through his hair as he turns on his heels and begins to walk out of the apartment.

“I just found you,” Magnus murmurs, and Alec’s frame halts in the doorway.

He cranes his neck, looking at the ground before murmuring, “You didn’t just find me. I didn’t tell you because I wanted you to make a decision based on who I was, not what some mystical ink we’re all born with says.”

“Alec— _please_ ,” Magnus is standing now, but Alec just sends him a half smile, before walking out of the flat.


End file.
